The Pathless Path
The Map is not the territory –Terrence Mckenna
When I thought about what I wanted to write about this month the title The Pathless Path. That same day I found a podcast episode by Michael Meade with the same title. I listened to it and really enjoyed it. I took it as a beautiful synchronicity. My article will have some similarities, but also some differences. Here is the episode if you’d like to listen.
No one is a blank slate. We all come into this world with identities pressed into us: White, male, 10 pounds, American, etc. As we get older we’re taught more identities: Religious- Christian, play sports, piano, socially awkward, can’t sit still, rambunctious, not good enough, trouble maker, etc.
These identities or maps are both good and bad. They’re important to help us understand ourselves and the world around us. Our minds need cognitive understanding to help make sense of a confusing world, especially when we’re young. But these maps are also dangerous. When we’re young our brains are highly suggestable. We have little to no defense systems and naively believe what others tell us. This is usually the time period where deep trauma begins and unhealthy patterns form. We begin to develop unhealthy relationship patterns (anxious, avoidant, chaotic), stress responses (flight, fight, or freeze). For those of us with controlling parents we’re taught “the way” or “the path” that is the right way. We confuse the map for the territory.
Some people never grow up and question the map. Some people question it as early as their teenage years. For myself, it was in my mid 20s when I really began to do some soul searching. I was so lost that I was in grad school and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. It took a kundalini awakening and 5 years of dark night of the soul for me to really begin to question my upbringing and figure out what I believed for myself.
Many people go through the same patterns of being taught a certain path, developing trauma and unhealthy patterns, and then finding a new path that really helps them heal and grow. However, the trap that many people get stuck in is believing that their new path is also the path for everyone. This could be religion. It could be certain spiritual practices. It could be as simple as working out. I’ve had people tell me that breathwork, meditation, psychedelics, astral travel, spirituality, the Bible, Christianity etc. was the way. I’ve tried many of these things. Some I found helpful and some I did not. Some I found more helpful at certain points of my journey than others.
Which brings me to the title of this blog post. There is a path that leads to healing and growth. But its pathless because only you travel it. Everyone’s path is unique. Those who travel on well-worn paths are struggling in lethargy and confusion. They want the certainty that if they follow a path that it will lead to certain results. But they don’t realize that they’re not the same person as who they follow and it won’t lead to the same results. In their chase for certainty, safety, and particular external results they abandon themselves and become lost.
By following our own path we discover the territory. We discover our own inner landscape. We discover our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs which shape our perception and way we live in the world. This helps us understand and take responsibility for the way we live in the world. Yes, there is still things outside of our control that affect us, but how we respond to these events is within our control. By learning to control, shape, and change our inner landscape we begin to move forward in power instead of seeing ourselves as passive victims to life’s whims.
Following your unique path isn’t easy. It takes ownership of ourselves and how we’ve sabotaged ourselves and hurt others. We have to forgive ourselves, have grace for our continued stumbling, courage to get back up and keep going, hope that the path will bear reward, faith when the way is dark and we don’t know what the future holds, and love that God is working all things for his good.
When we choose to walk our unique path, it is polarizing to people. They will either love you, fear you, or hate you. Some will hate you because they understand deep down that they’re not following their unique path and it’s painful. But you are and they’re envious. Some will fear you because you cannot be controlled and they haven’t realized that following others while safe, is harmful. Some will love you because you’re inspiring and gives them strength to continue following their unique path as well.
When we choose to explore the territory we must accept these facts and look to God instead of man’s approval. In this journey we become front runners of society. We inspire imagination, creativity, and new life. We help others reject the status quo and conscious thinkers and leaders rather than mindless followers. We help others become revolutionaries, not violent, forceful people, but one’s who’s inner power changes the world from the inside out like Jesus did.
So I ask you today. Will you take up the call of your soul to follow your unique path?
I’d love to hear from you about your life’s journey and what you’ve learned on your path. Send me a reply to this email! If you’d like my help on your journey you can sign up on my website for 1 on 1 coaching.
