My roommate called my parents and prayed for me all night. I could feel my parents speeding towards me and I prayed for them to be safe. I think I could feel the medicine they had given me and I felt like I could heal myself through breathing through my body. I felt like Bing Bong from the movie Inside out trying to get out of the forgotten memories zone and shoot back to life inside my body and reconnect.
My parents arrived and the doctor’s diagnosed me with Bipolar 1. They said that I had suffered a Manic attack. They sent me to the Psych Ward and put me on a medicine called Geodon. I felt like a little child.
I had an appointment with my chiropractor. I texted him and told him I couldn’t make it because I was in the psych ward. He also went to my church. He let my head pastor know where I was. The head pastor and assistant pastor came and visited me different times while in the Psych Ward. My head pastor read me a Psalm and asked me what stood out. I said the Tree of life. He seemed surprised and a little disappointed. He is more of a literalist and I was more into symbiology.
In the psych ward I was loving and trying to help others who were down. In some ways I was my best self and most selfless during this time. After two weeks they released me and I went back home with my parents to recover. I tried to switch medicine because Geodon made me sleep most of the day. I starting taking Quetiapine and Seroquel, but they did not work.
I went into the Psych ward again and was switched onto Lithium. I felt like I could tell that some of the patients were demon possessed or at least demon oppressed. I night I was praying for people under my breath and to be rescued from the demons. It seemed like a lot of people became agitated after this.
I was fascinated by this article that I had started to read during Christmas break and asked to look it up while in the ward. It was a Biblical article talking about the difference between the body, soul, and spirit. After a week I was released and my Mania subsided. Lithium worked for me.
The next semester I went back to grad school to finish my Thesis, but my brain had not really recovered yet. I spent a lot of time reading books about being a prophet, visions, gifts of the Holy Spirit, and NDE (Near Death Experiences). My charismatic friends had recommended the gifts of the Holy Spirit books, I picked up the vision books on my own, and someone recommended the NDE book. I can’t remember who exactly. I didn’t end up finishing my Thesis. Apparently scholarship money had also run out. I returned home without any idea of what to do with my life and fell into depression.
There’s a lot to unpack about this story. It took me many years to do so and even today I still don’t totally understand. I will continue to write about my journey onward and will get into unpacking certain things from my experience later. I hope this has been interesting to read and not to confusing. See you in my next post!