Manic/Spiritual Experience Part 3

This is the part of the story that gets a lot more blurry and abstract. I’ll do my best to explain what I thought and how I felt during this time.

When I arrived back in Grad school for the Spring semester, I had finished all of my classes. All that remained for me to do was write my Thesis. So I knew I had some time to be free and pursue my own interests for a bit. When I went back to Baylor I was not that hungry or tired most of the time. I decided to fast and I got about 4 hours of sleep for a few days as well.

During this time I became attracted to the sun. One day I looked at the afternoon sun and all the clouds around it disappeared. The sun did not hurt my eyes at all. I felt like it gave me more energy.

I was also fascinated with the number pi. I reasoned out what the numbers meant religiously up to a certain decimal point. 3.1 meant 3 in 1 as in the Trinity. 3.14, 4 being the next being created: Adam. 3.1415. Add 1, equals 5. 5 being Eve, the next being. 3.14159. 9 being the final personality of the enneagram representing totality of humanity personality encapsulated in the original Mother and Father: Adam and Eve. 3.141592. 2 representing God and humanity. It made more sense to me at the time.

There was a garden-like area at Baylor with lush green grass, tables, chairs, and giant trees. The interesting thing is that electrical outlets were attached to these trees with the wires running up the trees and connecting to power (I think) in power lines or maybe electric poles at some point. I plugged in my phone to this outlet one windy day. I retrieved my phone and began listening to music. The wind was blowing heavily during this time. I felt that with my phone being connected to the outlet on the tree that it had somehow given me an antenna (like the top of the tree) to be able to be sensitive to the wind and how it would blow. I felt attuned to nature. I felt a sense of wholeness. Circles as symbols of completeness and wholeness attracted me during this time as part of this feeling.

At times during these few days I felt euphoria and that I had entered a new state of consciousness. I thought maybe the Kingdom of Heaven was already here on earth? It just needed to be realized. Had I gone to another plane? Was heaven hidden as a part of earth? Was I now an Angel?

One night, I wondered around the campus and observed the ways trees were shaped and how they were bent certain ways. I thought that if you studied them well enough you could start to predict wind patterns. Could this help us understand how God moved? (relating to how God appeared to Moses in the Old Testament in the wind)

As I walked around campus I would see people I knew. I would talk to them and sometimes they would be eating food. I felt that I was sharing communion with them. Some people seemed to be more in tune spiritually or on the same page as me than others. Time/responsibility was of no consequence (though I did make sure to go to a few meetings I had had already planned. I was not totally out of it). I often lost track of time.

During this time I felt responsibility/purpose to help others. I was very selfless. I felt focused, but also distracted at the same time.

I was apart of the grad school association. I felt connected to the leaders. I felt they were guiding me in my dreams. I had some grand purpose to complete with them.

During my night excursion I came upon a courtyard surrounded by apartment rooms. In the courtyard stood two trees. I thought they were symbols of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the Tree of life. I walked to the top of a parking garage and felt the wind. I felt like God was coming and to hide my face like God told Moses to do when God visited Moses in the wind on top of Mt. Sinai. When I hid my face the wind picked up and blew upon me with great force. I felt the presence of God. The wind died down and I felt like God had passed through. I revealed my face and continued on.

I was talking with a classmate of mine and followed him to the top of the parking garage. He was telling me his grievances with religion and peacefully I nodded along, feeling like I understood where he was coming from, though I knew the truth was different. I felt the warm sun and presence of God on top of the parking garage.

In my neighborhood we have a general meeting room with some bookshelves. One day I was in there, but had a meeting with someone. As I was leaving, on impulse, I grabbed a book on the bookshelf. This turned out to be a Bible with a piece of paper inside. I read the paper which turned out toe be a certificate saying congratulations for graduating with a Masters of Divinity. I thought maybe with all of my spiritual experiences lately that perhaps this was from God and that I didn’t need to actually go to school and get a theological degree.

The third night I visited several of my neighbors. One of my neighbors, Joel, had taken off his wedding ring. I thought God was leading me to marry this girl that I had had a crush on. I asked my neighbor for his ring, bit he did not give it to me.

I visited another one of my neighbors and had supper with his family. He lived in a apartment on the second floor and his name was Paul. I felt there was a parallel to the apostle Paul and the “upper room” in the Bible. I thought Paul understood the spiritual realm I felt as in the Bible the Apostle Paul was taken up to third heaven. I had been forgetting things of mine around the campus, sometimes I realized it and just thought that I would get them at a later date.

I went back to my apartment. My roommate David was engaged, but his fiancé was several states away. I felt that he wanted to go to her. I thought that I would dress in his clothes and put on his glasses so that I could be him in grad school so he could go be with his fiancé. When he came home and saw me like this he knew something was wrong.

He called the neighborhood leader and co-leader to help him with me. They leader was Paul who I had supper with and Co-leader was Joel, who I had asked for his ring. I thought it was cool that I was going on a trip with three guys with Biblical names: Paul, Joel, and David. Paul and David were some of my favorite people in the Bible as well and Joel was a prophet in the Bible!

They took me to the hospital. I thought that I was one of the enlightened and that going to a hospital at night was normal for those recently enlightened. I thought the hospital was the entrance to heaven at night while serving as a hospital during the day. Paul and Joel left soon after admitting me, but David stayed with me.

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