When I was driving home I felt like I could feel the spiritual energy radiating from the individuals and the land around me. When I went through Dallas I wept as I felt like most people were lost and distracting themselves from life. While I was between towns I felt emptiness as more and more people move from rural to urban towns. However, I also felt joy in the music and order of life.
during this time I felt full of energy. I mediated more and slept less. I probably averaged 6 hours of sleep per night. Everything I experienced felt like religious symbiology. I had gotten into the Enneagram in the last few months and I attributed numbers to the different Enneagram personalities. I counted everything I could see and tried to make sense with what I knew about the Enneagram and numerology in the Bible.
When I was back home during the break I researched things such as “spiritual ecstasy,” near death experiences, and Christian mysticism. I got a piece of graph paper and marked the X axis as time and Y axis as space. I again referred the numbers to the Enneagram and people I knew that I thought fit certain personalities. I scheduled time to meet with friends that were Charismatic. Some of them confirmed that they had had deep personal spiritual experiences with God themselves.
I also talked to non-charismatic Christians about my experience and while no one denounced me outright, they did preach caution and to search the scriptures. My parents did not know how to respond. They knew something was up with me, but they didn’t understand exactly what was going on. At the end of 3 weeks I headed back to East Texas to hang out with one of my friend for 3 days before going back to Waco to start my Spring semester of Grad school.
During this time I started listening to Mozart and Vivaldi. I had read that Mozart had had an extraordinary experience that had brought forth his talent and creativity in creating Classical music. I enjoyed classical music more during this time than any time before or since.
When I got to my friend’s house I tried to explain things to her, but she was not so convinced. I used words such as spiritual enlightenment, new modes of perception, God is in everything, spiritual gifts of prophecy and healing, rebirth/dying daily, purified by fire. My friend’s Mom told about a man who had given them a religious tract of healing after their dog had run away and died. I read this book very quickly in a whisper one morning in their house as a prayer over their family. The grandmother saw and perhaps heard me. She sat near me and seemed to be listening. She did not speak. The experienced seemed very spiritually charged.
After 3 days I drove back to Baylor. On the way back, one of the many thoughts that entered my head was a seemingly random and curious one about reincarnation. Now I had never believed in or been interested in reincarnation before. But I thought in that moment about going to sleep in a grave, awakening and living a different life.
In the next post I will talk about my experience when I went back to Baylor.