This post is long overdo. I’ve started to write it 5 or 6 times over the years, but until recently found it to be too difficult to write. I have had difficulty in figuring out how in depth or how to describe certain aspects. I have decided to write more broadly with a focus on certain parts of the story that I find more significant.
In December 2017 at the end of my 1st semester of my second year of grad school at Baylor University in Waco, Texas I found myself discouraged. I hard worked hard that semester to grow closer to God and improve my emotional, mental, and spiritual health. However, I still felt very broken.
A friend of mine had sent me a blog post about trauma from the website brainpickings. The article had links to further articles within the website which I found interesting. I find myself drawn deeper and deeper into the web of insight and healing. I read about the soul, ponderings of emotion, existential dread, love, grace, etc. I gave permission to myself to let go of my daily chores and cares.
Do you know when you read something that really clicks in your mind and you get a jolt of energy? A eurika! moment. Well I was getting these moments over and over while reading these articles. My body began pulsing more and more with energy. I began reading at 8AM. I was astonished when I really payed attention to the clock that I had read until 4AM! I am no stranger to reading a captivating fiction book all day, but this was another level which I had and have not since achieved.
I went up to my room at 4AM to go to sleep. I began a body scan meditation in order to calm down and relax from all of the built up excitement in my body. However, instead of relaxing myself I believe I connected the built of adrenaline in my body with my mind. In that moment I began to vibrate and shake violently. The sensation was intensely good. My body felt pleasure, and love beyond anything that I’ve ever experienced before.
In my mind during this shaking I heard God’s voice say You’re a prophet. You’re to be my voice. I was amazed. I stopped shaking soon afterwards and fell asleep.
I woke up the next day full of energy, joy, peace, spiritually connected, free-flowing, and positive emotions bubbling at the surface. I began to journal everything that popped into my head and try to follow God’s direction with my intuition on a moment by moment basis.
An example of this is that I went to lunch with a friend. I felt prompted to give him a dollar. He told me thanks and that he would use it for coffee at a coffee shop near campus. The next day I went to that coffee shop to meet my life coach. While I was sitting waiting for him I heard the barista call out the name Ken. I thought nothing of it. Again, I heard the barista call out Ken. No one went to the front. The barista called out Ken for the third time. I went up to the counter and said, “my name is Kendall and I didn’t order anything, but…” The barista said go ahead and take it. The order was small cup of black coffee that probably cost a dollar. That was one instance of synchronicity.
I knew that after my experience my life had changed and that I was moving on in certain ways from my old life. I was going to tell my life counselor that I would not be seeing him in a professional role after this meeting. When he arrived, before I could say anything, he he let me know that God had told him that I was moving on.
After these things happened I had a month long break from grad school for the winter holidays. I left Waco to be with my family in Lubbock during the holiday. To be continued.
2 thoughts on “Manic/religious experience in 2017, Part 1”
Pingback: The Singularity Experience (and a warning) – Beyond the Shadowlands
Pingback: My Younger Years – graduate school at Baylor – Awakening Journey