2022 has been quite a rollercoaster internally and externally. Externally I changed jobs and moved. Internally I changed my beliefs and worked through a lot of negative emotions that had been trapped in the past. I was working in a tough situation at a hotel with low staff and not much support. I was also substitute teaching which made it hard to focus on homework and gave me a good amount of anxiety. Both of these jobs were physically taxing as I was often on call during the night at my hotel.
Eventually, I moved on from my hotel job which required me to move out. I moved back home with my parents which saved me a lot of money, but also caused some tension with my shifting beliefs. I found a job at a different hotel, a much better situation than the past one. I chose not to continue subbing in the fall. However, because of this shift my schedule changed and I stopped eating as healthily or working out/exercising as much as I did before the change. I find that whenever life gets easier, I have to intentionally work to not slack off on the healthy things I did to do well in the first place.
I worked through beliefs of hell to universalism, Christians being saved to people following the path of love as way of “salvation” through any tradition, accepting the cycle of deconstruction and reconstruction as natural and healthy for spiritual growth, understanding how cultural views have affected religion and the Bible, that views have progressed over time, moved from identifying as a Christian to a mystic, exploring New Age beliefs of dimensions, ET’s, energy Healing, the New Earth, and even accepting things like Channeling as potentially helpful.
I started a New website/blog and a New course on reconstructing faith. I wrote some more blog posts exploring and making my position clearer on consciousness, divine justice, free will, and what the future could look like. My friend from Africa who has helped me immensely on my spiritual journey moved to Lubbock and I’ve hung out and continued to talk with him about all of these things. I hope to start a podcast with him soon.
I worked through feelings of shame and guilt for exploring different beliefs and daring to go against some of the beliefs of my tradition, church, and family. After I worked through those feelings I discovered I had a lot of bitterness underneath in relation to feeling like my voice, intuition, and self-worth were pushed down growing up. Once I worked through that I discovered loneliness underneath. I’m still working through that one.
As a part of my healing I explored different energy healing modalities. I took a class on learning network spinal. I also tried out Reiki. I made friends with the Reiki practitioner and was pleasantly surprised to learn that there is a local new age group. I also tried out Quantum touch healing. All of these healing modalities I felt the energy very strong and though its hard to tell, I do think they helped me with my emotions and my thoughts. I certainly feel like many unhealthy attachments have been released.
I took a class to learn the Akashic records. I don’t feel like I’ve been highly successful in that though I have felt like that I’m embracing my intuition, mystery, feeling, and the subtle nuances more now rather than being so intellectually focused. At the beginning of the year I was drinking out of a firehouse of information and while it was exhilarating in the moment, I’m in a new stage of slowing down and integrating what I’ve learned and really digging down inside to decide what I believe.
I have been so fortunate this year to meet so many people online and have video chats with them. I have enjoyed talking with people who are deconstructing Christianity, reconstructing Christianity, into New Age things, and most importantly all were open-minded and were into growth as well. I have been blessed beyond measure and I am thankful!